Midlife Crisis = Midlife Adventure (6 Strategies You Need to Know!)

Hey, everybody, welcome back to the Bravehearted Woman! I'm your host, Dawn Damon, the Braveheart Mentor. This is the podcast where we embrace midlife and we do it with courage, confidence, and mindset mastery — no old thinking for us. No, we are the women who are going to go through midlife, not just somehow, but with brave audacity willing to do stuff we haven't done before because we're courageous. We're beautiful. We're confident, powerful women, right? Of course. If you've not done so, please make sure that you follow me, review me, and hit that little bell. So that basically subscribe. So you let everyone know out there in algorithm land, you want Christian motivation. You want specific motivation for women, midlife women. Thank you so much. I appreciate you doing that.

But let's get into this today because today we're going to dive into a topic that many of us experience, but so very often we struggle to articulate and that is the midlife crisis. Yes, it happens. It happens to women. So let's talk about why we have them, how we feel, when we have them, and what we can do to ride through it, you know, gloriously, not like struggling and striving, but with grace and empowerment.

So let's talk about this midlife revolution. I love this topic because I have learned over the last few years to embrace this season of life. I wasn't sure at first when I started approaching midlife like I felt all of the things that I'm going to share with you today. Midlife. Yes.

For many of us, as I said in the opening, it sneaks up on us like this little whisper and eventually grows into this roar that we can't ignore. We're not the same. We've changed. We've entered a new season. We are in transition. We're juggling careers one day and we're looking in the mirror the next day saying, I'm not the same. Is this all there is? What do I do now? So let's start with the big question really. Why do we have a midlife crisis? What is it?

Well, this is the period that typically happens to women between the ages of about 40 and 60 and because we're living longer we can kind of stretch out that midlife season a little bit longer, and it is indeed marked with significant life changes and let's just name a few.

For example, we all know the classic empty nest. Yes, the kids are leaving home. They're growing up. Nobody told us that when your kids grow up, you actually still parent, but in such different ways. The ways that you used to parent, you don't do that anymore and now you feel inadequate to help. You feel sometimes even overwhelmed with the depth of the issues that our adult children are having. We're in career transitions, might be aging out, the new, you know, the new blood, the fresh blood is coming in and that makes us feel a little bit of a lack of confidence or irrelevant. I don't know anything anymore. You know, so much technology is changing and changing so fast and I'm not a digital native and I don't know what to do. So we have this new sense of insecurity cropping up in our lives and many women are having relational changes. We are hearing that this generation of boomers is the number one group of people getting divorced today. You might be a woman right now who thought you were going to go into the golden years with your spouse after 20, 25 years, 30 years of marriage, only to find out, no, he left. Or, I couldn't take it anymore, I'm gone. So you have these relationship changes.

Then, we are called the sandwich generation because we're still parenting adult children and then we have aging parents that now we're taking care of and we need to pay attention to and look after them. Not to mention, and this is real you all, this is real, not to mention the fact that we have our own physical and emotional changes. Our bodies are changing, our hormones are changing. So all of these factors converge together to create the perfect storm of introspection, self-reflection, and sometimes even some turmoil. We feel some sadness.

Physiologically, Yes, as I mentioned, we are changing our hormones, which affects our mood, our energy level, and the amount of sleep that we need or the disturbance in our sleep. We're not getting the same restful sleep. nourishing, replenishing type of sleep that we used to get. And psychologically we're reflecting on our accomplishments. Maybe we have that sense of pride, our dreams, the things that we've done that have come true, and maybe the things that we want in the next chapter of our life, what we want it to look like. This can be exhilarating, but it can also be really terrifying. Like maybe I haven't done as much with my life as I wanted to. Maybe I thought I had more time and now I'm confronting my own mortality and the realization that time is finite. We knew that but we just felt like, you know, there was so much pasture ahead of us. There was so much to do yet and so much of life and now these realizations really push us. To evaluate and re-evaluate over and over again our life more deeply.

So let's talk about how we feel during a midlife crisis because this can really be a time of an emotional rollercoaster. One moment you might feel this surge of excitement and energy. Like, I love these new possibilities and I have this adventurous spirit, and the next moment you might really be gripped by fear, fear of the unknown, fear of a changing body, fear of a changing reality. You have some doubts. As I mentioned, this lack of confidence. I'm not just so sure anymore. Some common feelings. Let's talk about those for a moment. You might be feeling a little bit restless. Some restlessness, a deep urge for change. You know, adventure, as I mentioned, you might be feeling like I'm ready for something new. I want something new. I'm bored with the same old thing. So restlessness may be a part of it and definitely regret it. You may be feeling some of that. I'm running out of time. I didn't do all the things that I wanted to do.

When I reflect on past decisions, I wonder, what if I would have done it differently? What if I had just done it? What if I would have taken that risk? Regret. And regret is just such a time waster because you're going to end up regretting. The time you waste regretting things, but it's a real emotion. And then fear, of course, fear does grip us. We are concerned about our aging. We are concerned about our appearance. We're concerned about one minute, my knees worked. And now the next minute they don't. Maybe the things that I delayed, I should have been doing, I should have made deposits in my health, my good health. I didn't do that and now I'm reaping the repercussions of having a body that's not perfect. And of course, we know we don't have perfect bodies, but it's not peak. I'm not living at the optimum level that I could have been. I have missed some opportunities. I regret that. Then confusion. We do feel confused. We have an uncertain future. I don't know what my purpose is anymore.

So many women, which is why I wrote my book, The Making of a BraveHearted Woman. Many women say, I really don't know what my purpose is. I really can't tell you with any definition. what my future is looking like, what I should be doing, or what direction I should take, or how I want to spend the next few years of my life. So these feelings are natural. They come to all of us and believe it or not, they are signs, good signs that you are on the verge of transformation. You are an amazing candidate for transformation. So, how do we get through this midlife crisis? How do we ride through this period with grace and empowerment? Let me give you a few strategies.

First of all, number one, embrace the change. It's here. Okay. So I'm not saying acquiesce to the change. There's a difference, but I am saying embrace the season that you're in and think about how you can make it work for you. You're not a victim of this season. You are an initiator, a creator of what you want it to look like. Think about this. Midlife really is not a crisis. Midlife is a transition. It's a time for you to reinvent yourself. That is exciting. It's a fresh opportunity to rediscover your passion. Right? I started writing at 50, y'all. I wrote my very first book at 50 years old and now at 62, I've written six books and I'm starting my seventh. It's a good time for you to set new goals. Because you've reinvented yourself, you can just step out of the box of what everybody thinks and expects of you. Forget that. You get to set new goals. Shift your perspective from fearing the unknown to embracing endless possibilities. How exciting is that?

Number two, spend some time in self-reflection. Truly, self-reflection and being able to be self-aware is the answer to so many things. Next to knowing God, it's knowing yourself. Okay, time for self-reflection, and journaling is such a powerful tool. If you've not done that to explore how you're feeling, I invite you to do some journaling online around some expressive writing around a thought or an idea. Maybe you write a question, what am I afraid of in aging? Talk about it, write about it. Don't type, write. We all know the power of writing and how it activates a certain place in your brain that really helps you process. Ask yourself other questions too. What am I passionate about? What dreams do I have? What have I always wanted to do but I haven't done yet? And deeply, what do I value at this season of life? What am I willing to release now and say, that's not a big value, but this is, and it's nonnegotiable and I'm going to go for it?

Then, number three, I invite you to seek support in this season of life. It doesn't go through this alone. Find some friends, get some synergy, get a support group, or have a coach. I am a great coach, or even a therapist if need be, but share your experiences and you know, hearing that someone else has the same experience, hearing that you're not the only one. That fears aging. You're not the only one that's disappointed and grieving that. You're saying goodbye to your youth. You're not the only one who feels sad that maybe you're not as mobile or you're not as active or your adult children are acting some kind of way and you feel overwhelmed. You're not the only one who feels a little disappointed that things in life didn't turn out exactly like they should have. Or that you've completely reinvented and it's really exciting and you're ready to do some new things. Find people and support that are in the same place that you are. Because there's a lot of power in that fellowship that you can have with one another. Find people that bring you joy and relaxation and help you laugh. Enjoy the season that you're in.

And then, we always talk about self-care, but here's how I want to position it this time. Yes, definitely prioritize your self-care. This is what I mean by nurturing yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually, creatively, you know, spiritually, of course, should have started with that one. But exercise, eat well, meditate, and take time for activities. I have a friend who never knew that she could paint and in her midlife reinvention, she decided to try it and now her paintings are hanging on the walls of studios. She's having art shows. She's selling them for thousands of dollars. She's an amazing sought-after artist. Come on, friends. What's inside of you? What activities, what self-care, what focus on yourself can you do during this season that brings you joy and exhilaration and really success can bring you to the next level? Your million dollars can still be locked inside of you. You can still be an entrepreneur in a crazy, amazing way. Don't ever give up. So, it’s time for you to do some self-care. Don't dismiss and please don't just acquiesce to, Oh, now I'm going to do this and now I can just babysit. And that's all great. Spend time with those beautiful, wonderful, amazing little grandbabies. But don't forget to prioritize your next season.

starting the coffee pot. It's: 1030

Number six, celebrate your journey. Okay, reflect on your achievements your growth Celebrate your reward. You tell yourself a good job. Good job girl. Good job. Good job body. Good job mind. Good job. You have done well in all the things that life has handed you. You have navigated well and look at all of the wisdom that you've gained. Look at the experience you have. Look at the truth that you have to offer someone else. Because midlife is the culmination of all your experiences, all the things that you can be proud of. So celebrate yourself.

So remember that midlife is not the end. We know that. It is a powerful new beginning. You're at the threshold of a new beginning. It's a new you. It's time to step into new potential. Deep, deep, deep true potential that's been there, but yet untapped. It's a time to live more authentically. We can live more authentically because I don't know if you're experiencing their fun, the only one, but you know what? I'm just bold at this point. I don't need to be liked by everybody. Now that's not permission to be rude and speak your mind and tell people off that not that, but I have a voice. They know when to use it. That boldness also means, you know what? I'm so confident in who I am. I don't have to use my voice. Others are touting their experiences and other things that they've done or are doing. I can add, or I can just celebrate them. I'm not insecure. I don't need to say it. I don't need to always share it. That's how comfortable I can be in my own skin. You are too, I hope and you can be comfortable in your own skin. So these feelings of restlessness, fear, self-doubt, and maybe some confusion, are simply indicators that you are ready for profound transformation. Are you ready for that? That's exciting, right?

So I want to share something with you in closing. I'm going to read a little bit from my book, The Making of a Bravehearted Woman. This is chapter two the title is Where BraveHearts Are Born. This is the essence of bravery. Helen Keller said this, Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. I made a discovery at 46 years of age. My life careened out of control and tossed me to a fork in the road. Wounded by betrayal, I lay in a rubble of shattered life. Nothing to return to. Everything I knew and loved was gone, obliterated. That my husband of 28 years could choose to leave me and our family and just merrily float down the jolly path of a new life while I was smoldering in a heap of ashes left me stunned and grief-stricken. My marriage, family, pastoral career, and my livelihood, all billowed up in smoke. I despaired to the depths of my soul, devolving into a frightened, huddled mass. The only time in my life I was more afraid was when my 10-year-old daughter was fighting for her life after being struck by a truck. Now I was fighting for my life, broadsided and left for dead. Feeling fearful and alone with formidable crossroads ahead. I didn't know how to go on. I really didn't. What am I going to do? How will I survive? How will I take care of myself? Who am I now, if not a wife, a pastor, or a counselor? Until this moment in life, I had never lived one day alone.

Friends, I was thrown into a midlife crisis at 46 years old, and for me, it was a crisis until I was able to transition the thought of it into a midlife adventure. When I did that, everything changed for me. I began to write down goals and dreams on a piece of paper. I wrote down where I wanted to live. I wrote down that I wanted to write a book where I wanted to travel. What kind of things I wanted to own that I wanted to pastor, and all the things that I wrote down. And if I look at them today, every one of those things that I wrote down in my midlife reinvention has come to pass. What am I saying? God is no respecter of persons. What He's done for one, He will do for you. It's time for you to get a vision. It's time for you to reframe.

This midlife crisis, yeah, it's hard. It's difficult. But we get to choose our hard. Hard now or hard later. Choose to go through midlife joyfully, reframing it as your opportunity to reinvent so that you don't have hard later. Do the hard thing now. Get a vision for your body, your mind, your intellect, and your purpose. Get a vision for your finances and your relationships, and watch what God will do.

All right, everybody, that's what I have for you. This week and this episode, I want to give you my free download. And listen, if you've not done this yet, it is my confidence quiz. How ready are you to face midlife? How confident are you? I want you to get that. I want you to take the quiz. I want you to see how you score. I want you to know that you are a candidate for this, amazing opportunity ahead of you called midlife reinvention. You got it. You can do it. You're strong. You're bold. You're brave. So this is Dawn Damon, your brave heart mentor saying to you, find your brave and live your dreams!