Menopause and the Holidays: A Perfect Storm of Stress and Change!

It's the holidays, and you know what that means, right? Joy, excitement, fun, family, food, stress, exhaustion, fatigue, and perhaps even a little bit of sadness. menopause and perimenopause and even PMS during the holidays can be a recipe for a pretty unsavory meal. So we're going to talk about it today on this episode of The Bravehearted Woman Podcast.

I want to empower you as always because that's what I love doing helping you want to make you aware. And once we're aware, we can do better. We can be prepared. We are on guard. I want to make you aware of some of the sneaky culprits of what can happen to a woman in menopause.

During the holidays, these things probably already, but a heightened awareness of them can help you navigate this a little bit better because you're going to experience one or some, or maybe even all of these. So be prepared, right?

First of all, you know that physical symptoms during menopause can be irritating, like hot flashes and cold flashes. A lot of people don't talk about that cold flashes are very real too, where the temperature just comes out of your body. You just feel freezing. That's because hormones regulate our thermostat inside of our body, and when hormones fluctuate all the time as they are in menopause and perimenopause, your thermostat goes up and down and up and down. It's hot and it's cold. You're getting night sweats, and then the night sweats leave and now you've got night sweats and cold chills. You know, our poor spouses, blankets on, blankets off, blankets on, and blankets off. I still do that.

I've been out of menopause for a few years but with the hustle and the bustle of the holidays ~ Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and all of the things you better expect. A heightened physical intensification of some of your symptoms. That can happen. You can have more hot flashes than usual. You can have more mood swings than usual. You can feel overheated, especially if we're in crowded environments, right? We're families all coming together and everybody's hugging. I remember when I was going through menopause, with just one touch of my husband's hand, he would reach to hold my hand or put his hand on my leg. Man, you all, I would be like a furnace, like a radiant fire just come up in me because I would just instantly go into a hot flash.

Don't forget to wear layers during the holidays. Those fluffy sweaters will, just looking at somebody in a sweater trigger a hot flash for me even today, so I have to wear layers But I remember my mom when I was a kid during the holidays. She was always the one cooking. She's a very good cook and she'd open up the oven. I can remember just seeing her just dripping red. Yeah, the oven was hot all by itself. But she was already at 290 degrees. I remember her opening the freezer and sticking her head in the freezer just to cool off.

But you know that during the holidays our physical symptoms can increase. That's because we're changing a lot of things too. We're eating more rich food than normal. We're probably eating more sugar than normal. Which, I don't know. Enjoy the holidays, eat whatever you want, but just be aware that sugar is our, not our friend in menopause. It increases our hot flashes. It messes with our hormones. It causes inflammation in the body. It gives us brain fog. We feel fatigued and sluggish because of sugar. It aggravates arthritis. I mean, there's a lot of things about sugar that's just not that great for us. And so it will really cause fatigue.

So we're going to feel drained anyway because we're busy. We've got extra responsibilities, these social obligations, and the holidays make it a little bit more challenging to feel good in our bodies. So just be aware. and offset that awareness with some goals and some things that you can do to empower yourself so that you'll easily overcome it. I'm going to give you some things at the end of this episode about what you can do to safeguard yourself against some of these things happening.

Here's the second thing, not only just the physical symptoms, but emotional symptoms. I mentioned a moment ago, mood swings, and that's part of it. But your hormones fluctuate during menopause a lot. That's what it's all about. You're in the season. It's changed.

Life is changing for your body's changing. Your biology is changing. So, you're going to have more frequent mood swings. You're going to have more frequent mood swings, especially during the holidays, because there's a lot of pressure, pressure for being cheerful and upbeat and the hostess with the mostest, if everybody's coming over to your house. This pressure of perfectionism is to make sure that everybody has a good time, that you're doing something that's going to meet everybody's needs, and that you're cooking all of the right food.

But maybe, you know, there's a time that you feel sad because someone you love is not with you this year. Maybe you've experienced, like I did, you've gone through a divorce. I remember the first holiday after my divorce. It was devastating. It was very sad. It was very lonely. It’s very obvious like the fifth wheel and everybody had a partner except for there I sat all by myself. Remember that I'm gonna remember that this year as I'm in the holidays with others who might be alone for the very first time, I feel that's difficult. Or maybe your children have moved away or you know the holidays at the end of this heated time politically divisive situation we've been in. Maybe you have family members who won't be present this year because they're of a different political persuasion than you. They don't want to be around you or there's space now or maybe someone has gone to be with the Lord and they're not even on this side of heaven anymore. Those things can be difficult. So there's a heightened emotional sensitivity that you may be experiencing and menopause exasperates some of those things that are already a reality.

Here's another thing that can really begin to increase in for you the overwhelm, because you have extra responsibilities. So overwhelmed can feel like anxiety. Just remember that anxiety and excitement are the same thing. It's triggering the same part of your brain. I'm not talking about clinical depression and anxiety of panic attacks, but I'm just talking about how that sense of anxiety can be excitement. So reframe it. You're excited, but overexcitement sometimes puts a demand on your body. But this is a season where there's a lot of responsibility.

So be kind to yourself and pace yourself. You've got the pressure to cook, to shop, to buy all those presents, to wrap all those presents, to make everything beautiful, and maybe you even have some pressure from some family traditions that you've done and maybe those family traditions are extravagant. I'm going to give you permission this year. You don't have to create an extravaganza. Especially, you know what? This generation of our children and grandchildren is not necessarily food-centric like we used to be around the table. Although they're foodies, don't get me wrong, but they're more about experience. They want to play games. They want to play cards. They want to sit around the table and talk forever. They want to experience relationships. They love just that environment. So give yourself a break. You don't have to make 17 desserts. You really don't. You don't have to make four kinds of mashed potatoes.

Oh, and here's something, you can delegate. You don't have to cook everything yourself. So don't be a martyr. Don't say, well, I always do it all and I want to take it all on and, and I'm not going to ask anybody for help. And now all of a sudden you're feeling, you're kind of in your feels, maybe having a little bit of a pity party. You've got all this responsibility and nobody's helping.

Well, listen. Open up your mouth and delegate. Use it. You don't have to be a martyr. Don't have to be the only one making the holidays beautiful. I know that I struggle with that. I have the gift of hospitality somewhere in my gift mix. I do love making amazing events for my family. I like making events so that they don't have to do anything because I want to bless my kids. I want to say, you know, gosh, you guys are working full-time. You got all these little children here running all over the place. I want to just calm and just relax. But is that really realistic? Because all of a sudden I'm juggling four things, my husband and I are in the kitchen together and we're feeling stressed and might even, we rarely snap at each other, but pretend we do, you know, it could be a setup. So go ahead and delegate. It's all good.

Alright, enough on that. Do you know another thing that can kind of affect us? In midlife during the holidays and why it can be a perfect storm for some more emotionalism than normal or irritability or even a little sadness is that our bodies are changing, right? Newsflash. We're at a different season in life. So first of all, maybe we have the energy we used to, but maybe we don't. Maybe we can slide into those jeans that we wore when we were a teenager, or maybe we can't. Maybe our bodies are very different. Maybe because of the change of life, we have some extra, we call it the muffin top. Because your body is committed to turning into an estrogen fat and producing factory because that's how your body's going to help you get through menopause. You need the fat. You need the estrogen. So, all of a sudden you've got fluff where you never had it before.

All I'm saying there is that that sometimes can cause a little bit of sadness, anxiety, or a lack of confidence. We don't show up as confident, as bold. We don't show up as feel, you know elegant and beautiful in our own skin like we used to. Maybe the weight that we're carrying or the change of our shape or maybe the fact that yeah we don't have the energy that we used to. Or maybe I show up and I feel like my hair is not what it used to be and I can't get it to do anything. I want to look festive but this outfit that I used to wear for Christmas you know my Mrs. Santa Claus sweater and I'm like won't go on anymore. I have to part with that. You get what I'm saying. A lot of women feel embarrassed about aging. Don't feel embarrassed about aging. Don't let shame overtake you.

I know there are shaming messages all over the place about becoming older. Let's embrace our age. You're the wisest, most beautiful, sage, and elegant queen at the gathering. Don’t try to be something that we're not. We're trying to reverse the clock and being embarrassed that we are the age that we are. You know what? That short change is really the elegance and the beauty that we are. You've got beautiful skin. Embrace it. Even if there are wrinkles and fine lines, all of the things, do what you can. I'm not opposed to it. I do it myself. But at the end of the day, I'm 63 years old. I got to embrace that. It is who I am. I'm going to walk in confidence with my head held high. I'm going to exercise. I want to be strong. I have a plan for how I'm going to go through midlife and beyond, which I now am there, but I'm not going to let shame bother me.

We know there are other culprits like sleep disturbance and you know I do want to touch on this one too. Don't underestimate what happens to you when you change your diet. The wrong foods can really increase all of the things that I'm talking about. The hot flashes. The mood swings and the wrong food can increase inflammation. The fatigue, brain fog, and depression, even can trigger or worsen arthritis or any other symptom that you have. Like bloating, indigestion, you know, heartburn, and hot flashes, we've already said it. So navigate your indulgences wisely. Enjoy them, have them, give yourself permission. It's not even so much about the weight or worrying about what you look like. It's just being aware of what element, that sugar, that flour, that carb, whatever that it's doing to your body. Just be aware of the effects. So don't feel guilty about your food choices. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. If somebody offers you a dessert and you want it, take it.

Remember, you don't want to wake up your sugar addiction. You've worked very hard at getting your body back in alignment with your goals, your dreams, and your visions. But it's okay to say I'm giving myself permission over these three days to eat like this. But leading up to it and right immediately after it, I've got to get right back on track. Yes, for weight loss. Yes, for body tone. But, for us as midlife women, it is more about mood swings, it's more about inflammation, which is the root of disease in our body, and it's about feeling good and sleeping well. So be aware of that.

Alright. So let me give you a few things that you can do and these are obvious too, but this is what this episode is about I'm just empowering you. I'm just reminding you. I'm reminding you number one, you're gonna overcome the holidays. You're gonna do well, you're gonna sail through them by doing these things. Prioritize your self-care.

We're just talking about it, and by self-care, here's what I mean. I'm not talking about taking a bubble bath, but you can do that if you want, but nourishing habits, things that habit you. I want to talk about hydrating and drinking lots of water. That's a really good self-care habit. In other words, I'm caring for my body.

Remember what you care for will care for you. So I'm going to keep drinking lots of fluids during the holidays. I'm gonna make sure that I take a few cat naps during the holidays I'm gonna give myself permission to go ahead and block everything off and turn off my phone even during the holiday while all there all these people are over I might say, hey guys, I'm gonna grab a 15-minute timeout I'll be right back. They understand they get it I told my husband to do that all the time. I can watch his eyes. He'll start getting really droopy and I'll say, Hey husband, why don't you go ahead and enjoy a little cat nap? And, he said, okay, thanks. Really? Yeah, go ahead. And then when he's down, he'll say, why don't you go ahead? I'll hold the fort. So it's okay to do that.

Remember to minimize your sugar and processed food. We talked about that already at length, but just to remind you that can really wreak havoc on your body, especially if you're drinking lots of caffeine or if you are having a glass of wine, those things will increase your hot flashes, and hot flashes just so uncomfortable I remember I felt like I had a decade of bad hair because it was up in a clip and then I'd let it down and then I'd sweat it out again And I put it up in a clip and then I'd let it down. All right, so there are some things that you can do. There's a lot of teas and medicinals that you can even use, natural things to help you with your hot flashes if you're in that. But just remember to take good care of yourself.

Then the other thing that I would mention to you is just manage your expectations. I've talked about it already in this episode, but sometimes we have these traditions that are really beautiful, but after a while, they become like boulders on our shoulders. We become strangely loyal to these traditions. They're just not life-giving anymore. It is okay for you to say, Hey children, I now bequeath you this family tradition. If you want to keep it going, go ahead. I have to release myself.

We have a family tradition. My daughter does it every year. She makes us a calendar every year for years. She's done this with everybody's birthday and everybody's picture. And this year she let me know that she might not do that this year. And it was like, wait, what? That is a tradition! We look forward to that present every Christmas. She's giving herself permission to maybe do something different. If somebody else wants to pick up that tradition, go for it. She wants to do something different this year. I won't give it away, she's already told me. And I'm excited about that too, but it's okay.

Simplify your plans. Simplify. Reduce the unnecessary holiday stress on yourself. Our kids, again, they're not as food-focused. They love food, but all these things, we'd have to have a turkey and ham and maybe we even have this and we have that and we have 16 pies. It's okay. You don't have to do all that. All right, and then remember to practice mindfulness. You know, harness your mood swings.

When I tell you guys to practice breathing, I'm not saying it's just a nice place to go in your mind. I'm saying it's a biological reality that when you breathe in from the nose and slowly out from the mouth, you actually do something wonderful for your brain. You take it out of hyperdrive, overdrive, and overstimulation. It's called the sympathetic nervous system. You take it out of the sympathetic and you put it into the parasympathetic, which is a state of calm and peacefulness. I'm telling you to change your state to change your brain by practicing breathing. So you can harness those mood swings. You can regulate yourself. You can bring yourself back to a place of calm and peace and boost your mindset by just practicing your breathing. Make sure you do that.

And then lastly, just lean on support. You don't have to be the martyr. You don't have to do it all. Delegate, delegate, and delegate to share the load. Let people know what you're thinking, and what you need help with.

And finally, if you don't have a community that you feel a part of, if you feel a little bit isolated and withdrawn, or if you don't know where to draw strength from, I invite you to join my private Facebook group. We have about 600 women who come together all in midlife, helping each other, supporting each other, and every Monday morning at 9 a.m. Eastern Standard Time. I am here to give you a juicy Mindset Mastery Tip so that you can master your thought life and live full out as a confident, bravehearted woman. So that's what I have for you today.

Now, before I leave you, I want you to do this exercise with me. I want you to use the power of your godly imagination. I want you to close your eyes. I want you to take a few breaths in and out, and I want you just to imagine yourself, and picture yourself enjoying the holidays. You're showing up brave, you're confident, can you see yourself? You're shining, you're radiant, you feel good about yourself, your family comes in and they're all joyful, and then you're sitting around the table or enjoying. And then I want you to see maybe some tension arises. Maybe there's a conversation that's difficult. Watch yourself navigate gracefully with wisdom, calm, patient, and beautiful. And suddenly the atmosphere once again turns powerfully, beautifully, and calmly, because you’re a bravehearted woman. are in control. If you see yourself many times before you get there, you will actually train your brain how to respond when it comes to these situations.

So I want you to think about how you want to go through the holidays, not just like waving the white flag when it's over, but standing on that proverbial mountain going, I got it. I won not just the battle, but the war. I made it. And we had the most amazing holidays.

Alright, beautiful woman, hey, like always, I want to give you a FREE gift. And if you don't have my book yet, The Making of a Bravehearted Woman, you can try it risk-free. I'm giving away the first full chapter. You can read it, and I know once you get that, you're gonna want the rest of the book too. You can simply go to the making of a bravehearted woman.com/freechapter and you can download your chapter. That's it. Everybody has an amazing holiday! This is Dawn Damon, your Braveheart Mentor saying, it's time for you to find your brave and live your dreams!