Feeling Stuck? 10 Steps to Get Unstuck and Start Living Your Dreams

Beautiful Bravehearts. Always great to be with you. Okay. We're gonna get right down to business today because I'm actually going to give you 10 steps.

Yes, 10 steps in the time that we have together on how you can get unstuck if you're in a rut. If you're in a groove like the old record players that had a skip on it because there was a groove or a rut, and it just kept playing the same old song or portion of the song over and over again.

Do you find yourself circling around the same mountain over and over again? Do you find yourself revisiting the same obstacles, challenges, and problems that you had last year and the year before, and you just don't know how to flip the script and change it up? Today is the answer for you. So, make sure that you let someone know about this episode if you are not the only one who's in a rut.

Hey, let's be honest, sometimes we like hanging out with other people who are in the same rut as we are, and makes us feel less guilty about our lack of progress. Sometimes those relationships where people are moving forward, they're taking control of their life, they're setting goals and achieving them. Sometimes we don't wanna hang out with that person anymore. Or maybe they don't want to be around us because. Birds of a feather flock together. I can tell you where you'll be in a year from now, two years or three years, or four or five years. Many coaches say the same thing based on your relationships, so let's get down to it. Are you ready? 10 steps to get out of your rut.

The first one is, of course, you have to acknowledge your rut. You have to be honest with yourself. None of us can change something that we're not willing to admit. The first powerful step is just to be honest with yourself. Define it, say it, give vocabulary to it. I am stuck. I don't know what to do. I am bored with my life. I am in a rut, which someone said a rut is not much different than a grave, except that it has the ends cut out. That doesn't sound like someplace you wanna be. I don't wanna be there. So let's just be honest.

So today, I want you to just look yourself in the mirror. And tell yourself the truth about your truth, about yourself, about your location. Tell yourself about this is where you are with your weight, with your progress in personal growth and development in your relationships. Can you do that truth-telling to yourself?

Number two, discover why. Why are you in a rut? No shame. Bravehearts, no judgment. I have been in ruts. I was in a rut not too long ago, but the key to getting out of it was that I had to understand why I was in this rut. How did I get here in the first place? And then, more importantly. Why am I staying in this space? What is being in this place providing for me? I must be getting some reward. The pain isn't great enough yet for me to really be out of this rut. So, what are you believing about yourself? What are you believing about your circumstances? What limiting beliefs do you have going on in your mind that have put a chokehold on your progress and your personal growth, and your ability to move forward with powerful action?

What is keeping you from taking steps of courageous action? Why are you doing nothing about your stuckness? So, you have to define why I am stuck.

That's number two in your assignment. Get your journal out and just ask yourself the question, Why am I still here? If I don't like this place, what am I doing about it? And that's number three. The third step in getting unstuck is to write down everything that you can think of. That could be the reason why we don't wanna just think about stuff. We know that if we can get our brain on paper, we know if we can put our thoughts down. We're 40 to 60% more likely to act on something, to achieve a goal, to implement change, or to create a plan that helps us get out of whatever situation we're in.

So, you gotta take those thoughts and put them down on paper, and that provides another possibility for you getting unstuck when you see yourself writing those things down. When you read the truth about yourself, your brain accepts it in a different way. So denial is not as strong as when we're just thinking about it, but when we read it, ooh, now we've given our brain a target, actually, because it begins to think about how am I gonna solve this?

Rut problem. How am I going to change something? And now you're starting to move out of victim into implementation, like you are empowering yourself once you write it down. And then number four, here's your next step. I want you to determine where you'd rather be. Do you have a picture of a preferred future? Can you see with the eyes of blessed imagination where you would rather be in life? How much would you rather weigh, or can you see yourself learning how to play the piano or speaking in a new language, or starting that business or that podcast that you want? Can you see yourself in a really positive light with that beautiful relationship, or that estranged child, and you having a conversation again? So, where would you rather be?

See it and then believe it. Believe it, that a healthier place, a more vibrant place, that a place where you're living more true to your vision and your values, that that place really does exist, and you have the potential to live there more financially fit. More mentally strong, emotionally strong, spiritually invigorated. That is you and I want you to determine to see it. And you're right. Step number five: write it down. Write down, here's where I'd rather be. Here's the vision. Here's the imagination that I dare believe, think, or can conjure up with the eyes of my heart. This is where I'd rather be. I want you to write it down.

Number six. Now, I want you to decide on three steps or three small actions, tiny actions, if you will, but give yourself no less than three. No more than four. Actions that you can take to begin to move you towards that place that you'd rather be in. What daily little small change can you make? What small pivot or shift can you make to move yourself closer to the vision that you just saw of yourself? How can you move forward? And these can be very small.

I want them to be small, in fact, but they're winning actions you can't lose. And maybe it is just that we pick on weight and exercise a lot, but it's just such an easy example if it is that you'd like to re-increase your cardio because you wanna start having more stamina, like you've noticed. You can't go up a flight of steps without just gasping for breath. And you say, one of the things that I wanna do, I'm sure I actually, one of mine, I wanna increase my cardio, my stamina. I wanna be able to do things without running out of breath. And so, as a podcast or an author, we find ourselves as a speaker. We're sitting in conferences or behind a microphone sitting a lot, and I do weightlifting and all those things, but I need to do more cardio. So what's a baby step? If I say I'm gonna run 10 minutes every day, that is a giant step. That is not a baby step.

But what I will do is say in the morning when I wake up, I will put my tennis shoes on. That's a tiny step. It's easy to do, and maybe I'll put on my entire workout outfit, you know, put on a nice support thing here. So I am ready to go. Should the spirit move me that I can get outside or on the treadmill, but I'm gonna first take that baby step. What is a baby step that you can take? What is something you can do? It's a small. Easy to do action, but you get that dopamine blast, you get that reward, you feel good, you begin to shift out of a sedentary focus into, I'm ready to do something here, just by alerting your brain that we are moving towards action.

Putting on tennis shoes does that very thing. What small, tiny baby step can you take? That alerts your brain, and everything comes to attention. Is it writing a book that you wanna do? Well, you're not gonna write a chapter right away, but you could say, I'm going to find a place where I wanna write and I'm gonna open my computer and bring up a blank page. That's a baby step you can take. You're not even promising that you're gonna write, but you're gonna begin to train and alert your brain. Oh, we're going into book-writing mode, and you'll be amazed at what begins to happen for you. Just do the right next thing. Okay?

Number seven. Write those action steps down. You knew it, right? Write them down. Maybe in sequence. I'm going to do this. This and this, and then I want you to put a date next to it. Are those daily steps, those steps you're gonna take three times a week? Are they weekly steps or biweekly? Just every other. I want you to formulate your action plan.

Remember, we face fear with a plan. We face challenges with a plan. Once you have a plan, a strategic step for your next action, man, everything changes for you. So set yourself up for success, write down your steps of action.

Then eight, are you ready for this one? Take action. What's a plan of action if you don't plan on doing it? So now it's time to move forward.

Listen to this quote from Norman Vincent Peale, “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.”

And those are words to live by. So do something, take action. Don't delay and don't procrastinate. You know, if procrastination is a bit of your issue and a problem for you, well, first of all, I recommend getting my book, The Making of a Brave Hearted Woman: Courage, Confidence, and Vision in Midlife and Beyond.

So after recommending my book, I would recommend to you the five-second rule written by Mel Robbins, and she just outlines brilliantly how to overcome procrastination, and it's not just something that we can learn. It's a biological thing that happens when we follow the prescribed action that she sets out in this book. It engages the frontal cortex of the brain, and you will be filled with positive thoughts and action in motivation to take action. So grab that book. All right.

Actions are the seed of fate. Deeds grow into destiny. That's what Harry Truman said: “Actions are the seed of fate and deeds grow into destiny.” You do have a destiny. You've already written it down in an earlier step. You've seen a vision of the preferred future. You know you can get there. God wouldn't put a dream in your heart if he didn't intend for you to reach it, if he didn't intend for you to experience the joy of living in that destiny, the dream and the heart. God's invitation to join him in his plan for you. So start planting those seeds of action today.

 Number nine, feed your spirit with certainty. There's a lot of negativity in the world, and you are responsible for keeping your mind and your heart on things above things that are motivational, beautiful, noble, and of good report.

So find three to five inspirational quotes or scriptures, affirmations, and speak them. Every day, in fact, speak to them. Many times, every day, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word. So what does your mind and heart hear your mouth saying? Make sure that you're filling yourself with positive thoughts, affirmations, and beautiful scriptures that are powerful and empower you. Faith-building words. That's what should be coming out of your mouth.

And then number 10, and this is one that oftentimes people don't enjoy, but I'm really gonna recommend it because it is the most powerful. Make yourself accountable. Who are you accountable to? Who will you tell your plan to? Give them your steps of action and say, Will you please hold me accountable to doing what I say I wanna do? Will you ask me the hard questions? Are you taking steps of action? If not, what's the problem? What's the obstacle? And if you are doing it, how do you want to increase it? How would you like to uplevel? Holding yourself accountable?

Asking someone, and I can't imagine a better person than a coach. Someone you're not really emotionally attached to. If you ask your partner to be your accountability partner, actually, that puts them in an awkward position, and it makes it a little more likely to become volatile in that. You're asking me that again? I don't, you know, you gave them permission to speak into your life, but sometimes we don't like the results, so stay away from those people, children and parents, spouses, and best friends.

Ask a neutral person, like a coach. That's what I do for many women who want to achieve goals but have a hard time motivating themselves and just need that extra well push in the tush. Alright, are you gonna do it? Is this your season to get out of the rut? Is this your moment? I believe it is, and if you need help, I'm gonna invite you to have a strategy call with me. You'll find the link in the show notes here, but it's a FREE one-on-one strategy call, for the purpose of you getting unstuck and visiting the thought or the idea of having me as your coach, I'd love to help you bravehearted women.

I'm gonna leave you today, now like I always do, and there's a reason why I always leave you like this, because I believe so much in this phrase. Is it time for you to find your brave spirit and live your dreams? Dawn Damon, your Braveheart Mentor saying, Peace out!