The Truth About Perimenopause and Menopause with Carin Luna-Ostaseski

Dawn Damon: Well, my guest today is a powerful business entrepreneur and the go-to resource for women during perimenopause and menopause. She's the founder of Hot or Just Me, an online shop for managing perimenopause and menopause. She offers products, expert advice, and community support. Now, she's inspired by her own experiences with perimenopause, like hot flashes, brain fog, and anxiety. I know that one has insomnia, night sweats, and so much more. And her mission is to empower women to navigate these life transitions. With confidence, please welcome to Brave Hearted Woman. My guest today is Carin Luna-Ostaseski.

Hey, Carin!

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: Hi. Thanks so much for having me today, and thank you for that wonderful introduction.

Dawn Damon: Well, thank you for coming aboard. We're really excited about your message today and what you offer. My audience is women who are about midlife and beyond, and I know this is a subject that really affects so many of them. I said before we started recording, my daughters are experiencing this perimenopause and all the things, but you were a businesswoman, and then you kind of changed career paths. So, tell us a little bit what brought you to this particular career path?

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: Yeah, so I am 47 years old, and my hot flashes started in my early forties. There was a simple question and often asked to pretty much everyone around me, Hey, is it hot or is it just me? And that led me to realize, first, that it was mostly just me. Also that I was well into perimenopause, so I had other symptoms that followed, like brain fog, anxiety, hair loss, and low libido.

When I went to my first doctor, I wasn't getting the right answers. He was mostly just prescribing me one-off heavy medicines for some of these symptoms and not really taking into account my age, my stage of life, my hormones, so I found the right doctor and started talking more about perimenopause. And along the way, I found some really amazing products and services that made a huge impact on my life. So I thought, what better way than to share this with other women so that we don't have to suffer alone? So that's how hotter Disney was created.

Dawn Damon: That's awesome, and I have asked that question many times, and I still do at my age. Those hot flashes wanna drag on and on. Now, there are a lot of myths and misconceptions about perimenopause. Like you just said, you know, your doctor really didn't have an understanding. Sometimes we're not trained for this in medical school, so how can we debunk these myths? Well, first of all, what are they, and how can we help women going through this stage?

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: I think a couple of the biggest ones would be that doctors know what they're talking about. So you touched on a little bit, and the fact remains that in the United States, doctors receive three hours or less of training in menopause throughout their residency. So three hours, like we watch movies that are longer than that. Right. And yet this affects.

Half of our population, 51%, and a hundred percent of us will go through this, right? So, how is it that our doctors are so poorly trained on this? The antidote to that, I would say, is to go to a website called menopause.org, and that'll be in the show notes where you can find a practitioner who is certified in menopause and hormones and has gone through that extra level of training for this stage in life, which is, it's critical. These doctors, if you can't find someone in your geography, I encourage women to go online. There are many virtual doctors right now, or telehealth options like MIDI Health, there's Alloy, there's ever now so many wonderful options. And most of these are covered by insurance. So there are help and resources in finding the right doctors. So, I think that the first myth is that my doctor knows exactly what he or she is talking about, and maybe they haven't really gone through the training that they need.

And the second one is just terminology, right? So you say like, I'm in menopause, or what is perimenopause? So, just a little bit of vocabulary lesson. I would say menopause is just one day, and that's the day that you haven't gotten your period for 12 months. And for many women, this is confusing. For many women, they haven't gotten their period in years for many reasons. So, you know, it's not to say like, am I in menopause? So it's very hard to understand when, and then perimenopause is the years that lead up to that day, and that could be anywhere between three years to 11 years.

And on average, women will experience perimenopause symptoms for about seven years, and a variety of symptoms. There are about a hundred common symptoms that have been identified. I'm gonna give you the top 10. So the first one is irregular periods. This is, you know, your period has become heavier than usual, or maybe lighter than usual, or the cycle dates have changed, or the flow consistency. So just something has changed.

That's actually, that was my first weird Google search why are my periods so heavy? Yeah, and then, you know, kind of hand in hand would be hot flashes and night sweats. So hot flashes are this warming feeling in your face, your neck, your shoulders, and your back. It just feels like overheated. And yet no one else is the only one in a tank top while everyone's wearing sweaters. Then, you know, because your body thinks it's heating, sweats will follow to cool you down. So these can happen during the day, but the nighttime ones are referred to as night sweats. And these are, again, very common waking up, and your sheets are just soaked.

Then there's insomnia. Super fun, right? As if that's not enough. We wake up in the middle of the night, and sometimes we just can't get back to sleep, and I have a lot of great advice on that one. We can talk further vaginal dryness and low libido. Again, these kinds of go hand in hand with mood changes and irritability, like you might already be a little moody before your period, but just kind of feeling that mental rage, or just like this, like anger. Sometimes it shows up as anxiety, too, which is another really common one. Just kind of feeling like overwhelmed panic attacks, heart palpitations. There might be some joint and muscle aches that creep in this time of life. Brain fog. So, walking into a room and wondering, why was I here again? Right. That's happened to me quite a bit this week. And then weight gain, just, you know, what's working before it wasn't working. Yeah. And then there are some really odd ones, so there might be some phantom smells, some burning tongue sensation, ringing in your ears, and just a whole other group of symptoms.

Dawn Damon: This is so helpful, Carin, and I just have to imagine that if this is going on in a woman's life, she might recognize the hot flashes, but she may not recognize that sneaky night insomnia or the fatigue or the burning tongue. She may not recognize that. The mood swing or the irritability, or the anger that she's feeling can all be related hormonally to this season called perimenopause. So this is really helpful because once we know something obviously then we could do something about it. But just even knowing that, like I mentioned earlier, you know, I struggled with some anxiety. Once I understood what was happening, part of the anxiety left me because it was culminating and brewing because I didn't. What's going on with me?

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: Yeah. Then you start to worry, like, is there something wrong with me? You know, you have brain fog and you immediately think, am I losing my mind? Is this dementia? You have anxiety and you're like, am I having like some kind of mental health breakdown and really just kind of, you know, talking to your doctor, ruling a site, any major issues like osteoporosis, you know, any thyroid or heart issues, and then really getting to the point of, Hey, my sex hormones are influx and some of these are symptoms that come up because of that.

Dawn Damon: Absolutely. So what kind of as I'm thinking about this, you know, we might be afraid of it if they haven't hit perimenopause yet. What kind of mental attitude should we have as we're going through this? How do we build this resilience?

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: Oh, I love that question. I think that the biggest thing is just to realize that you are not alone, right? Yeah. That's right, you're not going crazy. There's nothing wrong with you, kind of normalize this. Right? Exactly. Yeah. And that we're all going through this. The tricky part is that we're all going through it in different kinds of stages, and some symptoms might hit us more than others, so you know what's troubling.

You might not be troubling your friend who's exactly the same age. Right. And so, you know, just realizing that we're all kind of on a unique journey through this process. In the same way, if you kind of go back in, in time, all of our puberties were very different, right? Like someone might have had acne issues, someone might have had more emotional issues.

So, you know, things can hit women in different, different ways. It's yeah, I always say like birth stories are all unique as well. Right? And so, we love to tell 'em, don't we? Exactly. Yeah. And same thing, like this is just something we talk about, like girlfriend medicine. And so just realizing that, that we're not alone. I think just having a lot of like, you know, some patience and some grace with this and, you know, kind of reframing it as, you know, earning your stripes right, like that this is a privilege to have gotten to this age and to have had these experiences. You know, I'm a mom of three kids. I've had two businesses. I'm married. I really have had so many beautiful life journeys that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't gotten to this age. So, just really embracing this moment in life as a gift.

Dawn Damon: Yeah, I love what you're saying there. Just celebrate where we are because we are kind of a culture that actually celebrates youth. And when we hit perimenopause, we're also really recognizing in some women grieve like I'm in a transition, and the body that I once knew and counted on, and the sharpness in my brain, or that my vocabulary being right there on demand, like that's not exactly how it's right now. So. To celebrate it and reframe it, I think, is really powerful and great advice.

What about lifestyle changes, though? Should we also do something so we get the mental piece right? What about the physical stuff?

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: Yeah. I mean, there's so much, right? The biggest conversation, obviously, is talking to your menopause trained doctor around hormones, if that's something that you're looking into to help balance out some of these symptoms. And the biggest ones that you can start with are just simple, you know, lifestyle changes. So, are you eating the right foods? Are you getting the right exercise? Are you taking care of your mental health? You know?

And are there any other tools that you can use to help navigate the symptoms that are causing you problems in terms of diet? Make sure that you're eating a balanced Whole Foods diet. Like you look at your plate, and you could recognize these things as actual food products. So, you know, cutting out any sugary and processed foods that we should be doing anyway for our health. Right.

And then, you know, same things, you know, at this age I'm realizing that my relationship with alcohol has changed, and so I can't drink at night anymore. I still, you know, will like to have a glass of wine or a cocktail during the day, but if I drink too late at night. It causes me to wake up and, you know, causes more of that insomnia to kick in. And then caffeine as well. So I used to be a two cup a day drinker, and now I was just at, I'm at zero, right? And you know, I realized that if I was drinking too much caffeine, it caused me extra anxiety or jitters, or made me a little bit more irritable. I find I have the exact same amount of energy as before.

So I had this idea that I was using it for energy, but really I didn't need it at all. And then, you know, same thing, exercise. Make sure that you're incorporating more weight-bearing exercises, more weights in your routine. You know, the cardio that we used to do when we were younger is still helpful, but we need to add in some weights to really strengthen the muscles surrounding our bones, especially our legs, for women, you know, to make sure that we have healthy bones.

Then I would say in terms of lifestyle adjustments, finding self-care, maybe it's meditation or yoga or something that you can use to help calm your mind through some of these changes, because we are raising kids and taking care of elderly parents or dealing with loss and grief and running businesses or working. So, there's a lot going on in this time of life. So really just finding, you know, what is it that refills your cup.

And then finally sleep. So sleep is a big one. Making sure you've optimized your sleep hygiene for your body, and what you're putting into your body. So I mentioned caffeine, you know, cutting it out, and alcohol, but what does your bedroom look like, right? Do you have some cooling sheets, like what we sell on our site, which are fantastic? We also have cooling pillowcases, you know, maybe it is sleepwear. That's very breathable. Natural fabrics, making sure that you have an eye mask or blackout curtains, and then. You know, blocking out any sounds from your partner with earplugs, and then just making sure that if you do wake up, just to give yourself a little grace around it and try to get back to sleep without, you know, torturing yourself about not missing out on sleep and listening to maybe a yoga Nira or something like that. So, a lot of you know, modifications that you can do right now.

Dawn Damon: Yeah, beautiful advice. I tell my brain when I do wake up, I say, thank you for whatever alarm or purpose that you thought I needed to be awake, but put me back to sleep. Now it's like, hey, this is not wake-up time. So I love that. That's beautiful. Communicating and giving messages to your body, and to your brain that, you know, manages our nervous system. But that's so so powerful. And like you said, you know, that's just good for any part of life. Like that advice right there, that's good for men, too. I mean, that's just how to live healthy, strong, and whole. And especially if you're in midlife, do not stop moving, women.

You know, I talk about this all the time. You keep owning your body. Don't let it get away from you, you know, that. It all adds up cumulatively. But what about also, is there anything that you would suggest, like supplements or, I mean, a lot of my girlfriends would say, oh, you gotta drink this tea. Oh, you gotta do that, you gotta do this. Like, you know, so a lot of advice coming from all places. But what is that?

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: So, yeah, I mean, first, I just wanna go back on something you touched on, men, which is interesting because men do have a decline in sex hormones around this age as well. So it's something we share in common, and it's called andropause, and it's a decline in testosterone. Not as drastic or as volatile as our journey. But there are, you know, similarities where they have insomnia. They have weight gain in their belly. They might have hair loss. They might have depression, anxiety, and so on. There's a lot that we can connect on as partners, and you know, just to realize, like in aging, that there's a shared experience here.

Dawn Damon: That is so good, and I don't want us to minimize that point that you're bringing up because, you know, we've called it the male midlife crisis or whatever. But that's a thing. It's real that their bodies, as well as ours, were going through these transitions, and I'm so grateful that you're a voice out there. I think more people are talking about it today, but I call it the dark ages, you know, our moms and our grandmas, they just had to figure this out. Yeah. So, you know, God bless you. For talking about it, but yeah.

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: Yeah, so back to supplements. I think, you know, the big ones are vitamin D, making sure you get your omega threes, and these can come, you know, from food or supplements if you don't feel like you're getting enough. I think one that's been helpful for me is taking magnesium at night for sleep. By the time I take it in the morning, it's absorbed, and so it doesn't have that same kind of calming effect for sleep. And so it's almost helped me through my night sweats. So if I am having them, I don't notice because I sleep so soundly. So that's been really helpful. But I don't really believe in a one-size-fits-all. Like, hey, take this pill and, you know, it will solve all of your issues. I mean, if we did, we'd all be like, you know, miracle workers, right? So I think it's just more about like, what does your body need? And so I encourage people to. Have a full blood panel workup at this stage in life through your doctor or otherwise. I couldn't find that through my doctor or my insurance. So I ended up using a website called Function Health. You can just, you know, choose your adventure, like what it is that you wanna test in terms of your biomarkers. Then you could just get those scheduled through a lab like Quest Diagnostics, and then you can track your progress, you know, like make your lifestyle and diet modifications, and then three months later test again. So I think that's really helpful.

Dawn Damon: That's great. I know you, we touched on it a little bit. I wanna circle back just for a moment because you mentioned it, the weight gain, our bodies change. What worked before doesn't work. So many of us will say, I used to be able to drop five pounds so fast, and now I can gain it that fast, but I can't drop it. So we don't have to be stuck with menopausal or perimenopausal. Postmenopausal weight gain, though. Is that true?

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: I think it's just, you know, how you choose to attack it, right? And so, you know, if you're noticing like, okay, I'm just, this is happening to me, and you know. Accepting it versus saying, well, let me try some new things, right?

Let me start with a different food, you know, the nutrition journey, right? Talk to a nutritionist or just really take a sense of what I am putting into my body? And you know, sometimes we go to Whole Foods and we see these like healthy snacks, but are they really healthy? It's just like taking something that's been overly processed and then fed back to you.

So I think just making sure that. We keep track of what we're eating and how we're eating. You know, are we mindful of our food, too? Are we just like rushing through when we eat, or are we, you know, really giving thanks for our food? Taking a minute and even a few deep breaths before you eat to lower your cortisol levels before so you're not like, kind of like, you know, running and, and going so that your nutrients really get properly absorbed. Making sure that you get enough protein throughout the day. And also, you know, incorporating. Different kinds of exercise. So maybe, you know, if you're just kind of in a rut, always doing the exact same exercise, mix it up. I mean, even your weight trainers will do the same thing. Like you're, you're not going over there every day and doing the exact same exercises.

You know, you've gotta like kind of trick your body into using different muscle groups as well. So I think even just incorporating more movement throughout the day, that might be going for a walk, or if you take a lot of calls, consider just walking during those calls, or you know. Park farther in the parking lot than usual, or you know, just these lifestyle modifications that you can change that will help make a difference. Yeah, I'm not one to track steps or anything like that, but I think it's just more, you know, how are you feeling? Okay. Is your body mass index okay? Your health. Okay. Versus, you know, oh, I can fit into these jeans. Right?

Dawn Damon: Yeah. That's really wise because you know, again, our bodies are changing and maybe up until now we haven't had to be so dogmatic and tracking things and we didn't have to monitor this or that, but we do have to steward these midlife bodies, and that does require, these are our vessels.

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: I say, right, like this is our vessel for the journey. We take care of our cars. We do oil changes, tuneups, and so it's like, this is it. This is a hard time to take care of our bodies, especially now, so that we have energy and ability to take care of those that we love. Yeah, I think it’s a big one.

Dawn Damon: Yeah, we do. We have to have the energy and the ability to take care of the people that we love. I was speaking to a woman the other day, and I said a lot of women feel like they're being selfish and, you know, for self-care. Like, you know, I've got all these other people I have to put first, and she said, I like to think of it as not self-care even, but cellular care. Wow. Cellular care. She says, take care of your body. You get one. I love that. And then that's it. And I like the way she said cellular care. I thought that was really powerful, too. So, and I know there are some voices. Our time is almost gone. I hate, oh, it goes so fast. It goes. I know. But there are some really powerful voices out there, like Dr. Mindy is out there. Yeah. Yes. And she talks about a scone.

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: There's Dr. Mary Claire Haver, Mary New Menopause, that's in our book as well. Wonderful resource. If you haven't read it, I encourage people to read.

Dawn Damon: Yes. So, those are things that you have on your site. Correct. So we're gonna direct them over there. You talked about protein and how, you know, we really need to be getting at least 90 grams plus of protein in our bodies every day. And that, by the way, probably won't happen unless we are really being careful to track it. I know.

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: I don't, yeah. I don't know. I mean, a big one is just, you know, I don't know about you, but like, you know, having you having had a big family as well. So we pre-B batch our meals on Sundays. We just cook, and we put everything in Tupperware for the week. And so it's not a surprise what we're gonna have for lunch each day, or dinner each day. So it's just sort of like. We already know it's a healthy meal because we spent time on Sunday to make it.

Dawn Damon: See, that's living on purpose. When you live that way, you get the results. We all get the results of our system, and you go, well, I don't have a system. Exactly. You're getting those results. But you have a beautiful system like that. You're gonna get those results, and that's awesome, actually. So. Parting words as you leave us today, what is the thing that you'd like our listeners to really have stick with their heart and ribs?

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: Oh, thank you. I think the biggest takeaway is just to know that you're not alone, that this is, you know, a shared universal experience for all women, and that we will all go through this stage and so that we don't have to do it by ourselves. That we are natural community makers between our friends online, wherever that is, and knowing that there are other women in the world going through exactly what you're dealing with, and I hope that that helps.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. Share with us where we can find you and you're offering us a little discount.

Carin Luna-Ostaseski: Yeah, absolutely. So, all the symptoms we discussed today, we have some products and resources available at hotorjustme.com, as well as a 50-article resource library for everything that you might need to navigate. Some of these symptoms, we have a discount code for BraveHearted is the 10% off code that you use at checkout, and we can be found on all socials at Hot or just me.

Dawn Damon: Wonderful. My guest today, Carin, thank you so much for being with us. You are truly a bravehearted woman, and we thank you.

Hey listeners, make sure you beautiful women get over there to her website and take advantage of those things. And I'm gonna leave you like I always do. Dawn Damon, your Braveheart mentor, is asking you, is this your moment to find your brave and live your dreams!