How to overcome self-doubt

Welcome to The Bravehearted Woman Podcast, this is Dawn Damon, the Braveheart mentor!

So glad that you're joining me on this episode of The Bravehearted Woman Podcast. We're going to talk about self-doubt. How do you do with believing in yourself? Is it a struggle? Do you have confidence? Or are there moments where you'd admit that sometimes I just struggle with doubting myself? That’s what we're going to talk about that today.

So I'm so glad that you are joining me welcome, welcome, and welcome! I pray that this episode really sets you free. I pray that this episode is something that you listen to it. You're going to recognize that yep, I have struggled with the trap of self-doubt. I'm ready today to bust out of that. Okay, so we're gonna talk about overcoming self-doubt.

Now, self-doubt, we know is the opposite of confidence. We want you bravehearted woman to be filled with confidence to believe in yourself. But self doubt is a decision not to try. The good news though, is that self-doubt actually is a habit. It's a way that you're thinking. If you can overcome and understand how self-doubt works, and the traps of self-doubt, then you will be able to really push yourself, motivate yourself, and create a pathway for yourself to systematically step out of self-doubt. Because there's a reason why your brain hesitates.

Let's talk about that. Your brain's number one goal at all times is to keep you alive. That's what it wants to do. It wants to keep you alive and we're thankful for that, right? But evolutionary psychology tells us that the good reason for our brain to hesitate and respond with fear isn't exactly how we need it to work. Today, we're not running in the wild anymore, so our brains have been designed by our Creator and wired to avoid uncertainty to keep us alive and to avoid anything that feels like a threat. So the best way that your brain protects you from uncertainty is to get you stuck in your head in thinking or overthinking. And I'll say it again, one of the ways that your brain gets to protect you, or keeps you safe from uncertainty, and any threat is to get you stuck in your head. Because if you get stuck in your head, you will stall, and it will prevent you from taking any action.

When you've heard us say the paralysis of analysis, that overanalyzing and overthinking something actually really does cause you to freeze and to get stuck. And the brain will do that. Anytime it deems something is risky for you, such as failure, risk of failure, discomfort, embarrassment, or uncertainty. When we think of those things, honestly, we really don't need our brain to protect us from all of that. What we need is for our brain to engage in brave, courageous thinking that motivates us and gets us going. But as I said, you can change any self-doubt because it is a habit and we're providing a pathway out of that for you today. So what happens is your brain will give you a feeling immediately of hesitation or resistance. And it's the alarm bells going off. It says, ‘Wait, wait, wait, what? Wait, what could go wrong?’ Something can go wrong here. Have you felt that before? But you can counteract your brain's instincts by understanding that this avoidance or this resistance tactic is simply a habit of thought or action that better said inaction. So your brain is giving you fearful thoughts, thoughts of hesitancy thoughts that say, ‘Wait, stop, hold it.’ But if you will engage your thinking, you can override your brain's instinct to stop you. So when your brain hesitates, it gets you to overthink something. It stops you from taking action and this is what begins it's called the self-doubt habit. loop. So you stop because your brain is shooting all of the red flags up all the flares that say, hold it stops, ‘What if this isn't feel right?’ This is scary what could go wrong.

So if you listen to that, if you stop and you delay, then what happens is you don't take action. And when you don't take action, your doubt begins to grow, and you doubt your ability to take action. And because you didn't take action, and you weren't successful with whatever it is that you wanted to do, you developed self-doubt. And self-doubt, of course, leads to more overthinking the next time something comes up. It begins to circle around and around and create a cycle. So self-doubt comes through scary thoughts, I stop and listen to those scary dark thoughts, and I decide not to take action. Now I feel bad because I didn't take action. Because I feel bad or my confidence is gone. I doubt my ability to take action. So the next time I have to take action, the self-doubt habit loop starts all over again.

So let me give you a couple of things that you can do to break that self-doubt loop. Then I'm going to share with you four traps of self-doubt and how they might look. So find validation within when you start to feel the self-doubt coming. You can break the cycle by starting to believe in yourself. You're going to do that by speaking what you know is true, your identity, who you are, you're able, ‘I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.’ I know that the action that I'm about to take is good action. It's a wise action, it's a positive action, and start to feel validation within because if you wait for someone else to believe in you. If you wait for other people to nudge you they're going to resist them. Or you're going to be waiting a long time. Because many people won't give you that advice. They can't tell you what to do. You've got to come up with that yourself.

So dig deep down inside and find that confidence, find that validation, and know who you are and what you're about to do. And then journal, capture your emotions. What are you really afraid of? Are you can journal around a question? What is it I'm afraid of? Why am I hesitating? What does stalling or stopping prevent me from? Is my brain trying to protect me from looking stupid?’ ‘It's okay, brain. I can handle looking stupid. I can handle I'm grown today. I'm not 12 I don't need to get embarrassed. Failures are my friend. I'm going to take this risk. It's mitigated, it's well thought out. It's wise. I'm not being haphazard or spontaneous.’ So let me take some positive action, even baby steps are better than nothing. Then remember your achievements. Remind yourself, I've done hard things before. Remind yourself how wise you've been, and how skillful you've been remind yourself that you've got great talent. You've got good skills. You've got a strong mind and a solid decision-making countenance and ability within you. So remind yourself, I've done this before. I've made this achievement. I conquered this I overcame that. I was successful at doing this. That is positive self-talk, which is another thing you can do to keep those daily affirmations going. Those I am statements ~ I am confident. I am strong. I am enough. I am an overcomer. All your ‘I am’ statements keep them going.

When self-doubt starts to crop up. I love just to say this doubt, your doubt. That's another thing you can do doubt your doubt recognize what's happening in your brain and that your brain is trying to save you and secure you. Spare you. Rescue you. You can say wait a minute. Is that really true? Do I really need to hesitate here? Do I really need to stall? Do I really need to procrastinate and then identify those limiting beliefs that might be cropping up? Take authority over those limiting beliefs to find out what's going on in the subconscious domain of your brain. It might be thinking you're not capable you're not able maybe you accidentally started comparing yourself to someone who takes authority over the limiting beliefs. Then make a decision because of decisiveness. Do brains, our energy, and our confidence. And actually, self-doubt breeds more inactivity. So take some action, just do something to get moving. Of course, our brain is wired to avoid uncertainty. It wants to hesitate. It wants to pause and fill us with self-doubt, but you can override it by taking that small step of action.

Now, I want to give you four ways or four traps of self-doubt. And the first one is hesitation. Hesitation comes. And this is triggered by uncertainty as we've mentioned, and it looks like waiting, overthinking, or perfectionism. If you're stuck in perfectionism, if you don't feel like you can move forward, it's really a form of self-doubt, called hesitation. So be aware of that, recognize it, see what's happening, and learn to step out of it.

Number two, hiding and this is triggered by the fear of others, others' opinions, and overwhelm, and it looks like avoiding. I'm avoiding, I'm procrastinating, I'm shrinking back. I'm staying behind the scenes. Because I am. I'm in doubt. I'm doubting myself. I'm doubting my ability. So this form of self-doubt is called hiding.

Then three is hypercritical, triggered by the fear of being hurt, disappointed, or failing. It looks like arguing with yourself or being self-critical or complaining. Hypercritical is listening to your inner critic, not only about yourself but maybe about everybody or everything else. This form of self-doubt is called again, hypercritical.

And then last, the fourth trap of self-doubt is called helplessness and this is the most insidious, it's triggered by insecurity, low self-esteem, and fear of success. It even looks like playing the victim blaming, pity, full of pity, lack self-trust dependency on others, and having a defeatist attitude. This is scary because it can really turn into an identity. Don't allow yourself to live in this space. This form of procrastination of self-doubt, called helplessness is not for a bravehearted woman, and it's not for you.

So many of us have been in one of these traps at least one time or another, and maybe we'll be in them again. But learn what's happening and recognize that your brain is really trying to protect you. Which one of these four things stands out for you the most? Is it hypercritical helplessness hiding or hesitation? Which one might trap you? How might you get caught in this form of self-doubt?

Well, I want to speak to you today, I want you to believe in yourself. I want you to find your own validity within your own self believing in yourself. You are well capable and you are well able because you're not on your own. You are God's daughter, His favors are with you, and His power is upon you. If he's put a good idea in your head, he also will give you the ability and the skill and the wisdom to carry it out.

Now I want to help you overcome self-doubt with my gift for you this week, we'll do exactly that. My free gift to you can be found at braveheartedwoman.com. It's called Ignite Your Confidence And Soar With Self-esteem. I’ll start over again. It's called Ignite Your Confidence And Soar With Self-esteem. You can find it on the bravehearted website. And it's a free gift for you. I want you to have it, Ignite your confidence and soar with self-esteem. You're going to do all of that you're gonna boost you're gonna ignite, you're gonna soar you're gonna grow. But what you're not going to do is stay stuck and self-doubt not gonna happen.

All right, Braveheart. That's what I have for you. Please visit me at bravehearted woman.com and take me up on my free gift for you. And if you need help from someone to push you in the tush, you need to twist the push. I'm here to help you get started again. I'm here to help you.

If you're interested in knowing more about my coaching, you can visit me there too at braveheartedwoman.com or email me at dawn@braveheartmentor.com. All right, that's what I got for you. I'm gonna leave you like I always do. This is your time to find you're brave and live your dreams!