The BraveHeart Story of Dr. Nancy Meyer on Fear and Insecurities

Dawn Damon: Hey all of you amazing, beautiful, bravehearted women. I am so glad that you are joining us again today on this episode of The BraveHearted Woman Podcast. I have a great and amazing opportunity for you.

Your life is going to be challenged because today my guest has done something incredible. In midlife in her latest book, Defying Fear: Finding the Courage to Embrace Your True Value. My guest today is a licensed chiropractic physician, triathlete, life coach, author, and speaker, and she inspires her readers to find the courage to embrace their true value and their brave. Please welcome my guest, Dr. Nancy Meyer.

Hey, Nancy. How are you?

Dr. Nancy Meyer: Good. How are you?

Dawn Damon: I'm doing wonderful. I'm looking forward to this. I feel like this is going to be a very special opportunity for women listening. We want to talk about all the things, your new book that's out, the things that you've been working on, but give us just a brief introduction into you, who you are, and a little bit about you.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: Well, you know, it's funny cause if you had asked me a few years ago, I would have said, you know, not really, I didn't think I was really anybody, you know, and then I realized that we're all somebody and it's funny. So, you know, I chose to do something, in my fifties that I hadn't ever done and there's no way I could do it, but you know, God tells you differently. I think that probably the biggest thing for me is, I am stubborn. You can ask my husband that, but two. I also know that God, has a plan for us that's victorious and we just have to let him, you know, show us that and allow him to lead us versus being driven. And I was determined. You know, not to give up at my age. And I tell youngsters that, ‘Hey, we can accomplish more than we think we can.’ And they're so far ahead of me, you know, where I started and hopefully everyone else will be.

But you know, in: 2004

Dawn Damon: So, yeah, let's get into it a little bit because you are a chiropractor and you have studied medicine. So, you know, you're not a slouch by any means. So to think that maybe you felt like you were just an average, somebody you were excelling, but then you decided to do something incredible, brave, and almost crazy. Tell us about what happened. You were 53 years old and you started doing, I don't even understand this word triathlon. That's like not even in my vocabulary. Tell us what happened.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: Well, I'm 55 now, but at 53 they, there's a triathlon half Ironman that came into my area of my town and all my friends were doing it. And I was like, ‘Well, I don't want to be left out,’ you know, plus there's cool equipment and stuff you can buy, you know, so I want an excuse to buy that. And so, you know, what FOMO, right? Fear of missing out, right.?

So anyway, I had to learn to swim. I knew how to float. I didn't know how to swim. So a half Ironman is 1. 2 miles.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. And you're not talking metaphorically here. You're talking about you did not know how to swim.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: I could float. But I, I never had done one lap. Like I tried to swim across a pool and it like halfway across, I was completely exhausted. It took me about three minutes to swim across a hotel pool. My husband kept saying more swim lessons, and I hadn't done any swim lessons. He was like swim lessons. But so it's a 1.2-mile swim. And I do not like cold water. The first one is like 60 degrees in the water. So I was like, if it wasn't bath water, I wasn't doing it. So not only that, but 1. 2 miles. When you see that spread out on the water, it's like. Oh, my gosh, you know, and it wasn't with the current to this swim that I did. So, and then the next thing it's 56 mile bike ride, and this was elevation 4, 000 feet. So it's climbing a mountain for four miles. Then you had another six miles of climbing with that. And then I did half a marathon, 13.1 miles after that and I've never run more than 3 miles, 3. 1 mile. That was like 10 or 20 years when I was well, 25. So, you know, go big or go home. So I, you know, had to learn to swim and basically learn, learn to run and stuff and I did, you know, cycling was, I love cycling. I had always done that. But. Yeah, it was scary. I still even now have panic attacks with a swim. I have to really watch that because it's, it's scary. It's not swimming open water so different than even doing laps, because you're out in the open. And you know, if you stop you, you drown.

Dawn Damon: Oh my goodness. That would, I can. I'm going to talk about fear in just a moment, but first of all, how did you feel or know that you wanted to, maybe it caught you by surprise, but you literally changed the trajectory of your life. You turned your life upside down. Just imagine the women listening to this podcast today going, ‘That's impossible. I can't change. Maybe she could do it. I can't do it. I have no vision of anything I would do anyway,’ what would you say to them?

Dr. Nancy Meyer: Well, the funny story is like, Oh, well she was in good health and stuff. I actually had knee surgery the December before I did the race in June. I know God's telling me to, because it's not me, it's him. So I couldn't even turn a rotation on my bike, you know, like spin like to be able to do that in January was, and I was walking, I couldn't even run. So by June, I did all this. And so, I mean, it was, I didn't know, but I just kept trying and working hard at it. Like I said, I couldn't even do one rotation on the bike because of the injury that I had, I couldn't do stairs. I couldn't go up and down stairs without pain. And so you get stuck and my son just said to me, yeah, somebody just said they're getting owed and they're all beat up and they're 30. I'm like, when do we start saying, okay, what? I'm 55 now, so if I say I'm owed now when I'm 65, I'll say, I wish I wouldn't have said I was owed when I'm 65 and then 75. Exactly. I'll say, I wish I wouldn't have said I was old at 65. I mean, there's 20-year-olds that I know that are really. Old how they act. So why are we doing this?

Somebody just told me the other day, they said, yeah, 40. My parents said, oh, I'm getting old. I can't do stuff. They stopped doing things. I had this morning. I ran, I ran four miles or so with gals, 30 years old and, and. Makes you feel better and I, you know, I keep up with them, but we settle and we start walking old, you know, you get to a certain age, you do that. Oh, people walk. Yes. Why? I'm not, I'm going down kicking and screaming, you know, I'm not going to, I'm going to stop. As it should be. Yeah. And so why are we settling in? Yes. Sometimes it doesn't feel good when you first run, you don't feel good. I mean, most people don't like running, but they like how they feel afterward exactly. So it's like, and I don't care what it is. Get up and move. If it's walking, that's fine too. Just do something. And people just, you feel better. It helps with anxiety and depression. I mean, 60 percent of the people feel better with that.

Dawn Damon: There are so many benefits.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: Huge benefits. Yes. I was, you know, people want to do it to lose weight. I said that is the number one worst reason to do any kind of activity. They're like, what? Because as soon as you get done exercising, you stand on the scale and you're like, ‘Oh, I'm the same.’ Or maybe if you're hydrated, well, you weigh more, right? If you get done exercising, you can say, Man, I feel less stress. So do it to clear the cobwebs. Right. And then the other benefit of. You know, getting in shape, losing weight, all that stuff will come.

Dawn Damon: I agree with that because if it's just a goal and not a standard, then once you reach your goal, what will happen with that good habit that you've created of exercising? Walking is a good place to start, but it's. It's not exactly exercising even yet because we're created to move. We are created to walk and reach and grow and stretch and move our bodies. And yet so many times that's the one thing that we relinquish early on in adulthood is that we're not like the little children who are on the ground rolling and jumping and playing. We start to get really sedentary. I believe that That also happens in our minds. You know, you stretched yourself and changed yourself. You probably pushed your body beyond what you thought was even. You were capable of a possible for you anymore, but you found out, guess what? I can do it. I have to believe your mind changed in the same way that your body was changing that you started thinking, ‘Why have I been accepting these limiting beliefs? I can do hard things.’ Yes?

Dr. Nancy Meyer: You know, the arms that, you know, keep waving, you know, I was like, my arms are getting like loose, and then when I stop waving, they're still waving, you know, but that's all changed. It's funny because you get set, well, that's just the way we're supposed to be. But it's not in like walking that can be hard if you do that, you know, I call it the grandma get in there. ‘Oh, people walk.’ This is really not where they just get at it. I mean, that's hard stuff. It's wherever you find yourself. But if you're as long as you're moving and doing something you get your heart rate up. Boy, that's the key! You know, we get where it's like, we're finding the closest parking space, you know, we got to get the closest one versus, you know what, maybe I'll start by just walking farthest out. You know, one, my car's not going to get all banged up, you know, right? There are other benefits too. But, and you actually, you know, maybe. We'll enjoy the sunlight and stuff, but we don't get out in the Sun enough We don't get out and just move our bodies. It's not complicated, but it all goes back. Well, you know, I want to lose weight. Well, so we decrease what we eat So our metabolism slows down and then we can't eat as much as we did before Versus why don't we exercise be more active our metabolism increases and then eat even more protein. Yes, I eat lots of protein.

Dawn Damon: I can imagine because really a lot of the difficulty that we have when we're aging is that we start losing our muscle mass and you know sometimes we lose weight we think, ‘Oh yeah I've lost weight.’ Well maybe you've lost some muscle and I think the best anti-aging thing that we can do for ourselves is keep skeletal muscle on our bodies so that, you know, we can really, so I'm not going to break a hip because I didn't trip because I had no muscle or no stamina. We've got to stay in shape. So you're a perfect example of that and you would agree that anyone can start, you can start baby steps wherever you are. Don't say. It's too late for me, right?

Dr. Nancy Meyer: Right. I was doing, running with a gal this morning and she's in her forties. Most of them are 20 years younger than me. But she said, well, I'm slower. I said, don't say you're slow. First of all, God doesn't make any slow people or, you know, God doesn't do that. You may not be as fast as somebody else, but you're still faster than somebody else. So just get out and move and don't compare yourself. I mean, I don't even care if it's like, you know my goal, and this could be a hard goal, depending on how long your driveway is, walk into the mailbox and back. I mean, it's as simple as that. I'm going to walk around my house. I mean, just simple stuff, just get up and move. But that big thing is, I think you schedule that earlier in the day and make sure you do whatever day, because we get busy and we won't do it. We don't work out. Then also the first thing that leaves. Is usually stuff that you need to do. It's like when you're busy and you, ‘Oh, I don't have time for that.’ That's when you really need to do it. And it's prioritizing and it can, you can kill two birds with one stone. So you can go walking or running and then also listen to music and praise God at the same time. There you go. That's for me. I mean, it's like a win-win that just releases it for me.

Dawn Damon: I love that. That's a powerful habit and a powerful routine. I do that in the morning as well. And like you said a minute ago, you just feel so much better. Sometimes I enjoy exercising. I don't enjoy intense cardio or HIIT training, but I love it when it's done. I love how I feel.

But I want to shift gears a minute because you've written a book and I want to talk about that called Defying Fear: Finding the Courage to Embrace Your True Value. You don't write this book because you've mastered fear and you've never battled it. You wrote it because you actually have encountered anxiety and fear in your life. You just mentioned a moment ago, that I still sometimes have some panic. Tell us about your book.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: I think, you know, a lot of people think that you know, like courage is the absence of fear, but it's despite that with my book. So it's a bunch of women's multiple women's stories, true stories compiled together to help people defy fear in their own lives by embracing their true values. I do that through spiritual, emotional, and physical practices. So it's, you go, the main character is Lila. So you go along the journey with her and the best example of someone that told really good stories is Jesus, right? And his parables. So that's how it's written, you know, not like Jesus, but you're going along the journey with Lila. And so you feel her pain. You also feel her victory and you feel her overcoming and defying the fear and embracing life. And learning not to let it hold you down, but to embrace everything that you have. It's cool because with people that read it, wherever they are in their life, like if you've been abused or if you've been told you're, you're no good, which is abuse, you find yourself in that. So it might be, you know, whoever you felt person that wasn't good to you. You'll see yourself in the situation with her, which is really cool.

So it's not preaching to someone, it's actually coming along the journey and going through this. And then I have, you know, Bible verses in there and also quotes and then like, you know, how I use that situation and how I felt with it. So it's, you know, my situations and other women's, but it's a journey and that's what it is.

Life is a journey. It is like you talk about courage or brave. It's finding your brave. Where is that? And where it comes from is through Christ, ultimately, is where you discover that just. So with that book is defying fear and finding the courage to embrace your true value. And it's a journey. I've really, it's really cool. I thought it was, you know, it's women too. My son read it and he was like, ‘Mom, guys need this too.’ They need encouragement. So I think as all, you know, most you know, behind it, every good man's a good woman and the other way around. So women will tell that there's husbands, you got to read this. Like you said to, he said, it'll help you how to treat people, how to treat people better. The most important person is yourself. And I think that's the big thing. learning the unshakable self-worth that you have through Christ.

Dawn Damon: Yeah, I love the way you're saying that.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: And that is the biggest thing. That's what I learned. I mean, I had no self-value. I mean, to tell me that I would have fireman and write my book, I was like, Oh, God, you want me to include that in there? I mean, I didn't even realize it, and how He's like, Yeah, I want you to show what I did through you because there's no way that I could do that. There's no way, you know, I think, okay, you're a successful woman as a businesswoman, successful, you know, physician. But still, the insecurity is there. And we so listen to that self-doubt. We listen to Satan telling us, we're no good. You're no good. You know, you're, you're dried up. You're 40, you're 50. You said you can't do anything. And that's not true.

Dawn Damon: That's not true. You know, it's really important that we just pause a moment and think about some of the words that you're saying right now. For anyone listening, Dr. Nancy Meyer, is a successful woman, medical physician, chiropractor, now athlete, but all of those accolades and yet deep inside, you would say, I still feel insecure.

Sometimes we think that people have it all together. We think we're the only ones that struggle. And just to hear you say that is really important because you were filling yourself with all of the right things, the education, the surroundings, all the things. And yet you still had that void. I'm going to guess that that's from something in childhood. That you needed Jesus to heal you and take care of you to fill that void.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: Yeah. It was not a very good marriage. My first marriage and it’s not a good situation. I had to learn to love myself after that and do that, you know, like to get out of an abusive relationship. It isn't like, women, they're brave because they're in that situation, but it's them getting conditioned and really thinking what whoever's telling them and believing that. So, you have to learn to value yourself, which is through Christ, and then you'll get out of that situation. Value yourself, and then you can do a triathlon, or you can walk to your mailbox. I don't care what it is. But you learn to value yourself to put that I deserve to be loved cherished and valued Yes, that is society doesn't teach us that and I also say and I go out, you know, this may not be the acceptable norm, but women our weaknesses is our strength because we are tender and more gentle and loving that is a strength. That is not a weakness And I think we're told that, no, that's not true. We are strong and we contribute and we are like, make this world a better place because of that. I was biking yesterday or the day before yesterday, it was a little boy, he was a little, was pushing this little girl and we're just pushing her down and they were playing, but I pulled over and I was like, don't do that. He's like what I said, you need to protect her. That's you know, you protect her and I said, I know I told her I said, I know you're strong and you're tough But I said that's not how we treat people. That's not how we do and we learn to forget that but in life, we need to because if we don't value ourselves our strengths our weaknesses are our strengths, and our strengths that we that, we're not going to ever do the next thing, the next level, not what God wants us to do. We'll settle. We're going to settle. Like, like you doing your podcast and your Braveheart, I mean, that took a lot of courage to do that.

Dawn Damon: Yeah.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: But most people they're afraid and won't, don't want to come out of that.

Dawn Damon: Well, you say it, you know, in your book, finding the courage to embrace your true value. It does take courage to embrace your value, just to be crazy enough to believe that when God says you're remarkable, you're amazing, you're valuable, you're beautiful, takes courage to believe that because we're more prepared to be disappointed, to be let down, to be rejected. We're not always prepared to be fully loved like God loves us and, and to say, okay, you know what? I am going to love myself. I am going to value myself. When you do that, you release what was inside of you, this athlete woman, but your self-esteem grew and your abilities grew, and you also started doing some self-care. You started reaching for some dreams and some goals. You started taking care of yourself more thoroughly and fully. And then how much courage did it take to write this book? How long did it take you?

, you know, like I said since: 2004

Proverbs 31, a woman is powerful and strong, but in that insecurity, we just have to repeat to ourselves. I know for me, ‘I'm like, okay, I am valued. I am loved. I'm cherished. You know, God loves me. God values me. I'm worthy. I'm worthy of being happy.’ I didn't think I was, I thought I was being selfish. You know, I had, you know, husband, business, house, you know, everything, right? All the good stuff. And I thought, well, I'm selfish if I want to be happy, but I was so lonely. I mean, so lonely and just felt. I had friends and stuff, but it was just being in that, you know, your toxic situation. It's like embracing yourself, loving yourself enough to be loved. I think we miss that and we think, ‘Oh, you know, I can't do that. I'm too old.’ No. God wants you to be happy. It doesn't mean it's not working at times, but he wants you to be happy.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. I think, you know, and sometimes in the Christian circles, we have given happiness a bad rap. You say, ‘Oh, happiness is based on circumstances.’ So God really wants you to have joy, not happiness. But the truth is God wants you to have both. God wants us to be happy. He gave us our emotions. He wants us to be able to look around at life and say, God, this is a beautiful day. Thank you for I feel so much happiness and joy. We shouldn't say, you know, because I used to say, well, I can either obey God or I can be happy, but I can't have both. Who says religious training? So let's let happiness, you know, get off the chopping block. You can be a happy Christian woman and still serve God. God does want you to be happy.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: We should be the happiest people out there. I mean, when you see, like, see someone that's a Christian, you should be able to look at them and see them. That they're like something about them is different.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. Radiating.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: Yes. I think one thing for me though, that I had to learn, cause I always try to look at the positive in people. So I remember a counselor said to me, he said, some people can tell what your past relationships are. They could tell what that person was like. By just seeing them and looking at them. I said I wanted to be one of those people. But I'm not. That's not something I do. I see the positive. So, go by the actions. You know, not just the words. ‘Oh, you're wonderful. You're beautiful.’ They're actions. Because if they're like saying you're beautiful, but then they're out cheating on you, or they're out never wanting to be with you, or cutting you down saying you're fat and all this other stuff, that's not the way it's supposed to be. It's not, but we like to succumb to that and let that happen. It's like, no. Then also it's a matter of saying, Hey, don't say that to me. ‘Don't do that.’

Dawn Damon: Boundaries. I'm hearing you say.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: The boundaries with it. But I just think we forget to value ourselves. Which is through Christ. That's their true value and, you know, it's putting him, you know, he's in the center of our universe and which is amazing that if we do that, put him in the center of our universe, everything else falls in place, which cracks me up. Because if it was me, like if I was a center universe, everything would be messed up because it'd be all about me, but God, you put him first. It's like, what's up with that? Is that not cool?

Dawn Damon: That's so cool. You know, that's how God works. The kingdom is upside down, right? When I put God first, like what he says, if you really want to find your life, you have to lose it. And what that just means is to move that selfishness out of the way, and put God first and everything else. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you.

Dawn Damon: So it's beautiful, you know,

Dr. Nancy Meyer: And God had us like as far as disciples. He had women way back when they were nothing involved in the ministry.

Dawn Damon: I mean, come on now, you've gotten on a whole another topic, and now you're going to get me fired up.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: That's so cool, isn't it? I mean, I'm like way back when it was not like even a thought. So we're valuable, you know, in the thought that God died on the cross for us. I mean, you know, we know that, but do we really think about that? I mean, He died for you and for me, a brutal death just for us. Then why do I not value myself?

Dawn Damon: Which comes in full circle. We're talking about not settling in midlife, not settling in life at all, but taking the limits off of God. A lot of times we put God in a box, don't we? We limit him. We say, well, he doesn't work this way or he can't do anything with me now, or I've, my past is too messed up. So I'll just live small and try not to embarrass God. That's all just hogwash as we used to say when we were kids.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: So I don't know, if you know this, so doing those triathlons. So the first year I did it, and then by the second year, I was ranked seventh in the state for my age group. So not only, you know, from not swimming to doing that, you know, at, you know, my age in the age group 50, was it 55 or whatever. So seventh in the state, you know, which is like. This is a person that, and I didn't even think about the other day. About a month ago, I was doing a triathlon Olympic sprint and this guy's going, you know, it's not like, that's very unusual to learn to swim in your fifties. Like you don't, but I'm like, who said that, but I was like, ‘Oh, okay.’

Dawn Damon: Right. Kudos to you because that may be true. But the minute somebody says something like there's a limit. Oh, I'm not supposed to do this. I'm so glad you didn't hear him say that before you learned how to swim, because you showed, ‘No, I can do it.’ Stop thinking so small and get that. I can do the spirit that Philippians talks about I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. That's right.

Dr. Nancy Meyer: Yeah, that's right. We put God in a box. Instead of, like you said, instead of, like, letting him lead us. And so, and it's always, it isn't always what we think it to be or ideal to be or what, but if we feel led by him versus driven, Oh, I got to do this, I got to do this task. Well, no, you don't know for sure. And that's where it's praying with it and then letting peace with it, having like the, saying the positive stuff about you and allowing yourself to grow and say, you know what, I have that on my heart to do that. Maybe I should try that. Maybe I should pursue that and see what happens. Then if you hear, you know, different people, I would say like three people say the same thing, but you aren't, then maybe that's something you should pursue.

Dawn Damon: My guest today is Dr. Nancy Meyer, the author of Defying Fear: Finding the Courage to Embrace Your True Value. You guys, you got to get ahold of her book. You got to find her. You got to listen to an interview that she's on. I would just want to close with that thought, allowing God to lead us versus us striving or running our own, going our own way. If you don't know what it feels like to let God lead you, you simply just say, ‘Lord, I surrender.’ My agenda for yours, lead me, and you will be amazed at the vast, open, huge territory that God wants to give you.

Nancy, closing words from you, and where can we find you?

Dr. Nancy Meyer: So drnancymeyer.com, and I'm on there, all my social media and all that stuff, and you can order my book from Amazon, it's in there, wherever books are sold, but thank you for having me be on the podcast, and thank you for teaching women in their midlife that actually they're just starting life.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. Right. I really appreciate that. So kudos to you. Thank you. Absolutely. And I'm sure that our paths are going to cross again and I can't wait for that to happen. We'll have to check in with you and see how you're doing in a few months from now. What other trophies you've won?

Dr. Nancy Meyer: So, yeah, and you know, I stopped doing chiropractic to pursue the speaking and in the book and it's funny because it's scary. But once you do, you feel, you feel good with it and God will give you that comfort.

Dawn Damon: That’s another brave leap of faith.

Well, I'm going to leave you like I always do all you amazing, wonderful, bravehearted women. This is Dawn Damon, your braveheart mentor, inviting you once again to check out my show notes for my brand new book, just released The Making of a BraveHearted Woman: Courage, Confidence and Vision in Midlife.

Is it time for you to find your brave and live your vision?