The 5 Phases in the Cycle of Change

 We're going to be talking about something today that will help you overcome the cycle of going around and around and around the same mountain over and over again. This year is your year to have a breakthrough. In fact, I believe it's going to be a groundbreaking year for you. If you will learn the principles and how to leverage the biology that's going on in your life when you decide to start something new.

Did you know there's actually a very predictable path, a very predictable and common biological and psychological cycle happening whenever you decide that you want to do something new for the first time?

A couple of years ago, I sat on the porch with a very good friend of mine. We were enjoying a beautiful, sunny afternoon on the water when suddenly things took a turn. She buried her face in her hands and she said, I can't do it anymore. I can't go on. I'm so depressed. I'm so discouraged. I can't live like this anymore. And yet, I feel so powerless. I'm incapable of change. What do I do? Well, I talked to Sue that day, and she had reached her, I've had enough moment. Four months later, I saw her again and I was shocked.

Hi, I am Dawn Damon, known as the Braveheart Mentor, and I'm with you once again. Today we're gonna talk about the cycle of change. What do you think was Sue able to make the changes that she needed in her life, or did she boomerang and start all over again in the madness and the insanity of the cycle? Well, what about you?

Before we tell the end of that. What about your life? Are you circling around that mountain over and over? Are you doing the same thing, expecting different results? You know, the saying, if you want something that you've never had before, you're going to have to do something that you've never done before.

But first of all, you may have to just learn what's happening whenever you say, I want change. I want to do something different. You are starting a journey that's common and predictable. You will conquer it if you can understand the emotions that accompany the psychological. So let me just give you the five phases real quick in this cycle of change and see if you can recognize yourself in any place.

First of all, the very first stage that you're going to reach is called discontent. Discontent, you know, you've grown exceedingly discontent. You're unhappy. You're dissatisfied. Something in your life has to change and you know it. You feel like you can't go on anymore. You know, you've tolerated it. You've allowed it. Even though it's been toxic, because it's familiar, it's what you know.

When you know something and something is familiar to you, even if it's unhealthy for you, somehow you think that it means you're okay. Your brain says this is familiar and familiar equals safe. Well, not really. No, it doesn't. Familiar might mean dangerous and toxic, but until you reach that I've had enough moments, you're not going to change. That happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the fear of your change. When that happens, you're moving into what I call behold the vision.

In discontent phase one, we're able to articulate what we don't want. I don't want this. I can't do this. I'm over it. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm sick and tired and I want it to end. So you're able to clearly articulate what you don't want anymore. But that's because you subconsciously understand and believe something better is available. Something better is possible for your life and that's where you begin to get discontent. You've seen where you'd rather be and what you'd rather have in someone else's life. You just haven't said, I think that's possible for me.

But, in phase two, you can behold the vision. You can begin to see you conquering those goals. You living that kind of life. You traveling. You finding that level of success. It's possible for you. So have you reached your enough moment? Can you get to the place where you can begin to paint a beautiful picture? Behold the vision.

Where would you rather be? Who would you rather be? What kind of identity would you rather have than this old identity of a broken villain or victim? Where would you rather be? What kind of identity would you rather have than this victim mindset that can never finish what she begins? That's not you. That might be the old you. But you're attaching yourself to a brand new identity. You're beholding the vision. See that it's possible.

As the old adage says, you will never leave where you are until you decide where you'd rather be. That's when you move into phase three. I call it the beginning backbone here. You have optimism. It's uninformed optimism. You don't know how difficult this change might be. But right here, you're getting that great shot of dopamine. You're excited. You're ready for the change. You are motivated.

In fact, motivation is at an all-time high. You can do this. It feels simple. The emotions that you're experiencing right now are joy, excitement, anticipation, enthusiasm, and eagerness to get going. We love this stage in this moment because we're, we are uninformed. We are unaware of what the battle is going to be. That's just ahead of us.

So I want to encourage you while you're in this stage, while motivation is at an all-time high, take a moment. Get your journal and I know you have a journal because you are a bravehearted woman and we journal and that's not a diary by the way. In fact, I'm going to offer you this FREE gift if you don't know what it means to journal. I'm going to teach you a powerful tool on how to journal in a way that your life will change. Check out the free gift and this week's download.

But while you're in this stage where motivation is high, you're eager and you are really ready to go, take a moment and connect to your why. Why do you want this change? What will it mean for you? What will it mean for your family and for those that you love? What will it mean for your career? What are the benefits? If you make this change, how will your life change? Make a list and connect to it and let yourself know because when the going gets tough in this transformation, then you'll be able to look at that and say, remember you said you wanted that.

I'm going to teach you in just a moment how to overcome the rationalization that says, well, I don't really want that after all. Yes, you do. Just beware, you might be entering into a phase of deception. So you now come into beliefs and barrier phase four after that motivation is so high and you're so excited to get going. Guess what happens?

Yeah, you start to become aware of the cost and you think, boy, I don't know if I want to pay this price anymore. I don't know if I want to say no to this thing anymore. I don't know if I really want to give up what I'm giving up in order to have this thing. Then you start to doubt the benefits. That's why you have to pull out that journal and remind yourself of all the great things that you're going to have when you conquer this goal. You start to feel frustrated.

Well, what's happening is pessimism is pushing out your excited mindset and your resolve in its coming at you. full force and telling you, you know what, you don't want this. You're feeling confused. You're feeling some anxiety. You're feeling negative. It feels too unreal. It feels like it's not available for you. The cost starts outweighing the benefits, but be aware you are in a deceptive phase. And this is why you're entering into the realm of habit.

Now, you know, when we have a habit, the first time we do something, it's very thin, like these little thin, like our midlife head. But when you start doing the habit over and over again, you build a very strong cable, a network of neural pathways that automatically take your brain, just like autopilot, it knows how to do this. So you have these stubborn old habits. You have this way of thinking. You have this behavior. And when you start something new, your brain will say, Oh, that's curious.

Well, I'll let you do it for a day or two or maybe a week. But when you start moving towards dismantling this cable, your brain will start a warfare with you. We don't like this. It detects danger zones. You're in uncharted territory. That could be dangerous for you. Let me get you back over here where it's safe. That's when you have to say, thank you very much brain. I appreciate you doing your job, but my mind, my will, my intention, my thoughts, my power of choice, I decide.

Now you're going to enter into the realm of discomfort, but discomfort does not mean comfort. You know that already. It means you're in the realm of transformation. You're breaking an old habit and you're creating a new one. You're rewiring the brain. Isn't that exciting? You're teaching the brain to do something new. You are shedding the old identity and you're grabbing onto affirming.

To make firm, you're making strong the new identity and the new pathway that leads you to the destiny that you want. That is so thrilling. It's not fun, but if you stick with it, you will begin to enter into another phase. That's incredible. But listen and understand, when you're in beliefs and barriers. Your limiting beliefs will crop up. They will lie to you. Your inner critic, your inner bully, will want to beat you back into conformity. It will put up roadblocks and barriers and you'll start to believe, I can't do this, it's too hard. If you buy the lie that says something else, it would be better. I have an idea. I think I'll do it this way. I still want this goal, but I'm going to try it this way. Guess what? You're in deception. What you're doing is you're saying, I want to start the cycle all over again. I want that shot of dopamine. I want a fresh idea because we love beginnings. We're addicted to new things, the shiny, sparkly things. But we don't like the hard work. But if you start all over again, guess what? You're going to have to go through the whole cycle all over again. You're here now.

What happens when you feel that resistance? Press through. You're making a new neural pathway. What happens to our muscles when we face resistance and we press through? We grow. We become strong. That's what's happening to you. Your brain is changing. You are rewiring. Just say this with me. I'm the kind of person who can change. I can change. I can be new. But you have a choice right here. If you listen to the doubt and the self-sabotage. That's what it is. You will boomerang. You will go back into amnesia. You will forget why you wanted the benefits. You will forget why you said I was so unhappy. You will lie to yourself and say it wasn't really that bad after all. And you will return to your old behavior.

But if you press through or if you push on, you will not boomerang, you will become. I love this phase, you're becoming now. Things are becoming easier, starting to see results. You say I'm getting some fruit. I'm being rewarded for the hard work that I'm doing. You will get a little shot of dopamine once again. The emotions that you have now. It's tough. It's hard. But it's worth it. I want to keep going.

I want to tell you something. Very few people make it through the cycle of change all by themselves. If you're someone who keeps looping back over and over and over again into a predictable cycle of failure and defeat, it's because you're not navigating the psychological changes and the Lies and the rationalizations and the self-sabotage that's going on up here. You don't recognize where you are in the emotional cycle.

But if you know that this is predictable, it's gonna happen and you have to break through it to get to the other side, that should give you the grit that you want to keep on going. Finally, you'll have a brave new identity. The old will be done. The new you'll be stepping into it. You'll be able to look at the before and after picture and say, That's who I was. But this is where I'm going. I want to encourage you to attach affirmations to the new identity, to the new destiny. Don't talk about the failures. Don't talk about your discouragements. Don't talk about the kind of person you were. Start speaking things that maybe aren't yet as though they are. That's the language of the champion. That's the language of God.

The Bible tells us in Romans 4:16-17, the God who speaks things that aren't as though they were. So be like God. Speak what is, what will be, what should be, and what's gonna be when you keep pressing on. You know you need this change. Don't quit. Don't give up. I want to encourage you, my bravehearted sister, to understand the cycle of change, and don't forget to go on braveheartedwoman/resources to get your download for the journal. It will change your life and it will help hold you accountable to the things that you say that you want.

All right. Thank you for joining me today.

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I look forward to seeing you in the winner's circle. Hey, this is Dawn Damon leaving you like I always do my bravehearted sister. It's your moment to find your brave and live your dreams!